Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

I like the idea that you are drawn to those you love. I loved how the scenes devolved from one segment to the next as the lovers raced to escape being erased. Some truly wonderful moments.

I just responded "to all" on freecycle over a mantle clock. I love mantle clocks, but it may be a 'barring' offense.

Traveling Vistas

New York. Sunset, the City illumined by a staccato brilliance of light and shadow. The refractive edge of the grid revealed. A beautiful and humbling image.

Seattle has a beauty of its own. The downtown rises from the Sound in a succession of grades, some so steep, I avoid them on slippery days.

Nestled in a black leather chair, a favorite glimpse was from the high tech conference room of one of Seattle's hallowed firms. From this vantage, the view West offered three Seattle 'cultural' venues -- set like ducks in a row: Benroya Hall, designed for acoustical perfection, and featuring performances as far ranging as the late Nina Simone and the Heart sisters; SAM, a museum renowned for returning art stolen by Nazis to its rightful owners; and The Lusty Lady, its triangular marquee edged with pink and emblazoned with puns, jutting playfully at SAM.

Use and re-use

As I am feeling particularly crabby (a friend recently said *if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy* ; ), I've decided to list a recent success in shifting of resources. In my quest to spend less, and use more wisely, I created:

Shelves for toys
We love books, have many shelves, but bookshelves tend to be too narrow for most toys. Toys need depth. I had been pricing shelves, and eyeing Ikea (the bastion of supposedly "cheap" fixes), when I chanted the mantra, "everything we need is already here". In the basement were plastic crates from our Graduate Student Modern decorating days.

To make shelves, I stacked six crates three-high, side-by-side, and secured them together with 7" SafeTy ties. The crates are now a solid unit, but I am pondering whether the crates should also be secured to a stud in the wall? Upside: less likely to be pulled onto toddler. Downside: toddler might decide this is a really cool climbing toy.

Jennifer and Sabina

Birthday Girl

Today is Sabina's birthday and the 2nd anniversary of Jennifer's birthing day. Love to Sabina and Jennifer!

NVC

I went to NVC ever so briefly. It was my cabin fever inspired treat. Just a quick foray to give the leader the bi-monthly meeting donation, and get 'out' of the house. It wasn't the best or nicest thing I've done all month. Alexa seems better, but I'm so out of it, my current state could be anything.

After, I went to the library. I consoled myself that the other child in the kid's section had a "cough", the same cough I've only heard occasionally this week from Alexa.

I view the kid's section of the library as "glove's off". This section has toys. A dollhouse, a push train, stuffed animals. It is obviously an area meant for quiet interaction. For my 22 month old, that was running after the other small child around the tables, next to the dollhouse. They were quiet, just not silent.

The Binge

Last night I ran to the store for diapers. The disposable habit is one I've been trying to wean myself from, but all the diapers were in the wash. I probably could have finagled a solution for the night, but I plead cabin fever with a touch of exhaustion. I had been in the house with a sick baby for three days, and the complexities of work arounds was more than my brain could handle. We use 7th generation diapers with Alexa. If I buy them at the local co-op, they are actually on par with Huggies or Pampers on sale. The co-op is a bit of a drive, though. 15 minutes vs. five to the local grocery. Alexa reacts to the gels in the more commercial brands, so the extra journey is worth the effort. Unfortunately, once there the exhaustion set in. I had a "small" basket of food (far more than the small package of ground beef and diapers I intended). The register rang a tally of $52. Sigh.

So, do I simply maintain my stance: $50 per week, or do I consider what's on sale, and hedge a few purchases for next week? I might need to because we are almost out of TP, and I don't think we're ready to switch to cloth ; ).

I feel frustrated that in my weakened state I shot my weekly wad in one fell glittery swoop. It's the opposite of the amazing exit with bags of food: everything we need within budget. Like blowing my school clothes budget on a pair of skyblue cords and strappy sandals. No rhyme or reason, just -- they're pretty and I want.

In reality, if we really ONLY had $50 a week, and that was it, I would make do when it was gone, and we'd figure out a way to the next paycheck. I am very creative when faced with a finite pantry.

I am worried about spend to zero mentality creeping in a gain. If I hold on to each penny, and maximize its effectiveness to procure what we need, we would acquire wealth. We would have everything we need, live well, and meet other goals. In retirement, or emergencies, we'd meet our obligations and avoid a Friskies based diet. I'd like to truly embrace living simply; to truly alter my relationship with money and resources.

Toe Fall

When the avocado pit rolls off the counter and bounces off your toe onto the floor.

Mantra Magic

We've added several new mantras to our household lexicon, and actually emblazoned one on cardstock and hung it in the kitchen.

"Everything We Need Is Already Here."

I've found this mantra powerful. Each day I feel a desirous pull, and each day I overcome the urge to spend, and find an alternate solution to meet our needs.

It's been difficult in some ways. I am spending a lot less on groceries, but I've cut perceived quality in some ways. My goal is to feed a family of three on $50.00 a week. Somehow the organic products and specialty items are not fitting as well in this plan. I'm leaning towards higher quality meats, and less emphasis on organic produce and fruits. Organic milk and eggs are a necessity as well. So far, I'm shopping the ads, and planning meals (somewhat). I'm also shedding alot of excess clutter, because suddenly resources are being shifted to cover gaps. It's a wonderful movement of use and energy.

Double Espresso Baby

I saw a ghost downstairs

Well, not really. But I felt one, and it was not a happy feeling. The downstairs needs help, and it feels a long way from finished. A project, and my enthusiasm is not quite as up for the challenge.

Adventures in Signing

I've always loved the idea of sign language. The ability to sketch a concept in air, like a wave, and have someone respond. We use a lot of sign language with Alexa, and recently she held up Miss Piggy and gave me the sign for woman. I gave her the sign for pig and woman. Again, the long quizzical look. It must be odd to fathom why this particular pig has long blonde hair, elbow length gloves, and pearls.

Sabina and Alexa have been playing again recently, after a hiatus of sorts. It's wonderful to watch them together. A throwback to their Laurel and Hardy days, except each now has more hair.

The barn

Tonight, after an intensive basement search, I located one of my prize possessions: the Fisher Price barn with "real" little people, fences, livestock, a rooster, and a door that says 'moo' when opened. I immediately brought it upstairs and played with my daughter. It's only the fourth farmland toy she's received in the past six months. She also has an oversized cloth book that folds open to reveal a pastoral scene: farmer on tractor, kitten, puppy, pig, lamb, calf, etc. Each (including the tractor) has a little button which produces a sound, and one that actually sings (a questionably loud electronic version of) Old MacDonald had a Farm.

Because of the electronic song, Alexa now refers to all pastoral barn scenes, even those rendered in oil and hung on the wall, as "e-i-e-i-o". What struck me as sad, was I live in the suburbs. From the number of farms in our home, one would think this was an everyday part of our life. My daughter holds up the tractor, and I say "tractor", slowly and clearly. She looks at me quizzically, as if to wonder, yes, but WHAT is it?

It must be so odd to be a toddler; learning of the world through conceptualized and reductionistic images. How would she know a tractor, if she never sees one plowing a field?

Straight from the Cat

I saw lemony snickett, which was a very Dark movie, but was perfect in that it was beautiful filmed, and very well done. I laughed at the dark humor (as always, one of the only ones in the theater to do so ;)

MIL was amazing. She watched Alexa, and spent the night. Yea! Alexa supposedly cried for an hour (and MIL did not call, bc I would have come right home). But Alexa did not cry alone, MIL lay beside her, and comforted her. So, I think this is not "crying it out". It was so nice to be "all grown up again", able to eat without a toddler grabbing or crying. Able to watch a movie without stopping or leaving the room. *Sigh. I missed her, but it was nice : )

The Daily Kos

Last night I went out to see a movie for the first time in two years. It was heavenly to be in a theatre, able to focus.