The Binge

Last night I ran to the store for diapers. The disposable habit is one I've been trying to wean myself from, but all the diapers were in the wash. I probably could have finagled a solution for the night, but I plead cabin fever with a touch of exhaustion. I had been in the house with a sick baby for three days, and the complexities of work arounds was more than my brain could handle. We use 7th generation diapers with Alexa. If I buy them at the local co-op, they are actually on par with Huggies or Pampers on sale. The co-op is a bit of a drive, though. 15 minutes vs. five to the local grocery. Alexa reacts to the gels in the more commercial brands, so the extra journey is worth the effort. Unfortunately, once there the exhaustion set in. I had a "small" basket of food (far more than the small package of ground beef and diapers I intended). The register rang a tally of $52. Sigh.

So, do I simply maintain my stance: $50 per week, or do I consider what's on sale, and hedge a few purchases for next week? I might need to because we are almost out of TP, and I don't think we're ready to switch to cloth ; ).

I feel frustrated that in my weakened state I shot my weekly wad in one fell glittery swoop. It's the opposite of the amazing exit with bags of food: everything we need within budget. Like blowing my school clothes budget on a pair of skyblue cords and strappy sandals. No rhyme or reason, just -- they're pretty and I want.

In reality, if we really ONLY had $50 a week, and that was it, I would make do when it was gone, and we'd figure out a way to the next paycheck. I am very creative when faced with a finite pantry.

I am worried about spend to zero mentality creeping in a gain. If I hold on to each penny, and maximize its effectiveness to procure what we need, we would acquire wealth. We would have everything we need, live well, and meet other goals. In retirement, or emergencies, we'd meet our obligations and avoid a Friskies based diet. I'd like to truly embrace living simply; to truly alter my relationship with money and resources.