La Uva
Today I discovered I am bitter. I was telling the horrendous stories I've collected about licensing exams and finals, and my friends laughed, and then mentioned I sounded bitter. I was taken aback. Bitter is never how I've described myself, or how I would want to be described, and I realized that it's possibly true. On this one faint branch, I am bitter.
And I feel sad at the realization. Life is so precious and short, and bitterness 'sours' me. It does nothing to transform the space I inhabit, the thoughts I am thinking. It simply deadens them. Shortens their span of existence.
I don't want to be bitter.
I'm not sure what to do next. I feel love, healing, and forgiveness are in here somewhere. I will have to think on this.
posted by La Uva @ 6:11 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
It's nice that you have friends who pointed it out and that you listened to them. Seeing a flaw helps us determine action to correct it.
I've never noticed you being bitter by the way..
I am blessed with good friends. I hate seeing my flaws, and it is invaluable when I do. It's good to know I don't sound bitter all the time :)
I think I said this the other day, and I really do believe that bitterness is the first step to cleansing... just as when we heal our bodies with a fast, our first odor we emit is bitterness, which is the release of toxins.
I've been stuck in bitterness about a lot of things. In this sense, I think it's similar to anger (actually, a certain type of anger). It's something that if we don't use, but let it use us, can potentialy consume.
I see you as a very open, joyful person, and if consumed by anything, when I look at you, I see you consumed by love.
m
Also, regarding your comment on what the next step is. Today I was in Leavenworth looking at the shop from 1000 villages, and there was a card with this quote which spoke to me about both the power and the difficulty in forgiveness:
If you want to see the brave,
look at those who can forgive.
-Bhagavad Gita
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