Tuesday, June 28, 2005

simplifying

I recently began receiving "Everyday Cheapskate".  The following is an excerpt:
 
Mary Hunt is the creator of The Cheapskate Monthly newsletter, which can be ordered online at www.cheapskatemonthly.com/um.
 
ways to simplify your life

A study conducted by Trends Research Institute revealed that about 80 percent of respondents said they would be willing to accept a reduction in pay if they could work fewer hours to spend more time with their families.

It's a lovely thought, but how realistic is it? Working less usually means earning less -- hardly an option for most people. However, we can still take small steps to simplify our complicated lives. A little bit here and there -- before you know it, your efforts will add up to something significant.

1. GETTING RID OF YOUR LIFE'S JUNKY CLUTTER. The method is a cheap, fast and effective way to emotional and intellectual happiness.
2. BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU HAVE. The social imperative that one must consume more and more to be happy is what breeds dissatisfaction and unfulfillment. Consumer culture consistently ratchets up standards so we constantly upgrade in order to keep up. It takes a conscious effort to desire less.
3. WRITE DOWN THE THINGS YOU NEED TO REMEMBER. And forget everything else. Don't allow your mind to dwell on things over which you have no control.
4. SHARE, LEND, BORROW AND RENT. Part of the reason we have our love affair with shopping and consumerism is because we think we need to personally own everything we use. Before you agree to complicate your life further with yet another possession, consider alternatives.
5. TURN OFF THE TV. You may not realize how your household television viewing is affecting your purchasing and lifestyle choices. If you are addicted to television, kicking the habit will simplify your life and allow you to find satisfaction.
6. DRIVE A SIMPLE CAR. High-end luxury automobiles are nice to drive, but can complicate one's life. Typically they are gas-guzzlers, and are expensive to insure, register, maintain and repair.
7. SELECT PATTERNED CARPET. Light colored, plush carpeting is beautiful but shows every speck, spot, fleck and crumb. If you want your carpets to look good without having to spend all your free time spotting, vacuuming, deflecking and uncrumbing, go with something speckled, patterned or multicolored.
8. TAKE CHARGE OF THE PHONE. Just because it happens to be a convenient time for someone to call you doesn't mean it's convenient for you to answer. Get an answering machine and then return calls at your discretion and when it is convenient. Getting control of the phone will add simplicity to your life.
9. BECOME LABEL CONSCIOUS. Unless it's mandatory for your profession, do not buy clothes that must be dry-cleaned. You'll save time, aggravation and a ton of money over the long haul.
10. GET UP EARLIER. The best hour of the day is the one right before you normally get up. It may take you a few weeks to truly enjoy that hour right before dawn, but when you create the habit you will be amazed by the simplicity that 60 quiet, stress-free minutes will add to your day.

 
 
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Rarely buy dry clean only (and rarely dryclean when I do...sometimes to my regret).   Hardwood floors instead of patterned carpet.  And when I am up earlier I appreciate the down time, but it's not a habit.  Other than that, I very much follow the first six tips.  We are so trained to consume.  It can be exhausting.  It is so important to learn to create our own definitions of successs.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

La Uva

“It is easy to believe that you will fall off the career ladder or become less “marketable” if you take time off to raise your children. But marketability can be regained; a childhood cannot. Remember when you consider your lost career “potential” that your potential as a mother will never again be quite as profound as it is during your child’s first few years. Your career may span forty or more years. Your children will probably live with you for eighteen years; they may only be home for five years before full time schooling begins and you will be the centre of their universe for only the first three years or so. Parenting is truly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”

Peggy O’Mara in Natural Family Living (2000:119)

It's almost political to place family first - before a new car, a bigger home, expensive clothes, and other items marketed as 'necessities'.

I live in my dream home. It's not the home I imagine when I am wishing for a bigger kitchen or bath witamenitiesmenities. It's the home I imagined being in while caring for my family: structurally sound and affordable.

When I looked at the successful people in my family, the ones with the most stability and ease were working everyday jobs. What created their stability was they did not spend their money unnecessarily. They practiced discipline. Drove their cars for years, and only purchased what they could pay for in full ~ whether it be a car, a toy, or home improvement. They enjoy life, but they don't lose track of their goals. It was eye opening.

I wish I were further along that road myself. Discipline is still a struggle. We are on the right path, and we need more discipline. Two steps forward, one step back, eyes wide open.

Monday, June 20, 2005

La Uva

Today I discovered I am bitter. I was telling the horrendous stories I've collected about licensing exams and finals, and my friends laughed, and then mentioned I sounded bitter. I was taken aback. Bitter is never how I've described myself, or how I would want to be described, and I realized that it's possibly true. On this one faint branch, I am bitter.

And I feel sad at the realization. Life is so precious and short, and bitterness 'sours' me. It does nothing to transform the space I inhabit, the thoughts I am thinking. It simply deadens them. Shortens their span of existence.

I don't want to be bitter.

I'm not sure what to do next. I feel love, healing, and forgiveness are in here somewhere. I will have to think on this.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

The American Anthem

american anthem (radiohead/Kid A) opens with a rush

de dee dom dom, de dee dom dom

The first time I heard the song, I was transported to Glacier: a memory of driving east on Going to the Sun . As the music raced, my heart beat faster.

Descending towards the plains. Leaving the Rockies behind, entering the sea of grass.

for me, american anthem is inextricably linked to the song which immediately follows: how to disappear completely. As I crossed the grasslands, I felt anonymous.

The Rockies on the horizon, always seemingly 'just over there'.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

pole dance

I.

Thursday, April 28th, I walked headfirst into a parallel bar on the playground. I smoothly ducked the first one, came up, strode forward, and somehow nailed my forehead on the second bar. (The "parallel" aspect escaped me.)

I didn't pass out. Thankfully. Although, I may have given myself whiplash for the first time without the help of anyone else. No other driver, other person. Just me and the playground equipment. I obviously don't bounce the same as when I was four.

II.

We have a bird feeder. It was outside the kitchen window. I would see it when I was washing dishes. It worked very well for about a week. Little sparrows and chickadees gathered.

Then it was discovered by our local, bushy tailed squirrel. A nice interlude: running water, beautiful hedgerow, birds gathered on branches watching the lone squirrel *gorge* on seed.

The feeder sits atop of long, steel pole, and comes equipped with a domed roof. The pole and dome are "squirrel prevention".

We moved the bird feeder closer to the apple tree. At the moment he is sitting on the feeder eating lunch. I watched him shimmy up the pole and swing himself up and onto the rim in an acrobatic dance move. At least he had to burn a few calories in the endeavor.

III.

The town where I lived as a teenager had tall, steel lamp posts towering above the main street. As a child in New York, I recall the lamp posts were placed next to the road. Not here. In this sleepy Florida town, they were placed in the center of the sidewalk.

I was shy and bookish in high school. I'd hide in a world of words, even when walking. I recall this one afternoon, nose firmly buried, when I connected with one of those hard, metal posts. I woke, book sprawled across my chest, sidewalk hard beneath my back. Cars whizzing by. Sun shining down. I always prayed the time between connection and waking had been brief. Very brief.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Beautiful pictures

These pictures are beautiful.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

La Uva

Wednesday I was supermom for a day. I gardened, played with my child, helped her fingerpaint, did dishes, made dinner... and at the end of the day I whispered to myself, "you were a good mom today."

And I cringed. Fingerpainting, and playing with dollhouses were being a "good mom", and all the other days I am just ... not a good mom?